Navigating ‘Demand energy’
Working as a mediator, I see again and again that one of the biggest killers of relationships is “demand.” Demand is not only when we outwardly do not accept the “no” of another person, but also, in a more subtle way, when the other’s “no” brings pain in us—a sense of desperation or rejection.
I often see people fall in love, their eyes shining with excitement in the first months: their new partner feels like a gift to their life. Yet after some time, a certain grayness can replace that shine… Demand is often quietly present beneath this shift.
When my “no” is not welcome, it means I cannot fully be honest or myself with you. And if I cannot fully be myself, then there is no one here to love you… And distance begins.
I see this between lovers, with children, among friends, and within families
We will practice:
❀ The clear difference between a request and a demand
❀ How to receive ‘demanding energy’ and navigate challenging dialogues while staying honest and connected
❀ How to trust the signals that come from our bodies and never betray them
❀ How to work with painful stories (such as “rejection” or “desperation”) and reconnect with reality as it is—rather than the painful stories we tell ourselves
❀ How to take a “time-out” and why it can be so life-serving
❀ How to receive a “no” (and stay alive and connected).
Navigating Anger
Anger (including irritation, frustration, and impatience) often arises unexpectedly in our interactions with those we care about most. It is a powerful energy asking to be expressed. And yet, acting on it often creates more harm. Anger is a powerful and beautiful life energy expressed in a tragic language that rarely serves its true purpose.
How can we navigate anger in a way that supports connection? Why is it risky to express it—and even riskier to suppress it? What is its deeper message?
We will practice:
❀ How to express (rather than suppress) anger in ways that serve connection
❀ How to enjoy (!) others’ anger directed at us
❀ How to repair connection after anger has caused harm
Mourning as a key life practice
Mourning is a daily practice: Mourning doesn’t only happen when we lose someone. Mourning exists on a spectrum, in different sizes, shapes, intensities, durations, and forms: Mourning is a certain kind of pain, a contraction in the body. There are intense forms, where it feels like our heart is being ripped apart; we can’t breathe, or we feel like we won’t survive the immensity of the pain. These can take weeks, months, or even a lifetime to digest…
❀ What ‘mourning’ really means
❀ How to “mourn our favorite strategies,”
❀ Why “being with the unknown” is key in dialogue
Definitions we will work with:
❀ Mourning = the capacity to be with pain—mine and yours—and to trust the gentle movement that unfolds when pain is welcomed and experienced
❀ Mourning = the time needed to move from imagination into reality
❀ Mourning = a bodily process, a digestion that allows acceptance, new creativity, and the development of new habits.
❀ Mourning = a core skill for living in an ever faster-changing world, the capacity to adjust and evolve
❀ Mourning = a key to discovering the very nature of being human