A Couples Line, Regression, and LR Supporting Structures
Preventing Couples from Snorkeling Mud Puddles
Thomas A. Habib, Ph.D.
(949) 248-7411, Ext 1
epictetus1953@gmail.com
Abstract
The couples relationship is an encounter where unfamiliar and multiple aspects of two developmental histories emerge and merge. Two person’s highest hopes and aspirations routinely collide with unstructured regression, cultural expectations, and unintegrated shadow, often in a visceral experience of panic and anger. Integral models provide a lattice upon which to sort out the complexity of intimacy, a formula to ensure a comprehensive empirical inquiry, and provides focused intervention strategies for clinicians. The absence of an integral framework has left the preponderance of researchers offering fragments of empirically supported information confined within a theoretical silo. This renders the proto-integral sensitive clinician a bashful eclectic inadequately equipped to cope with the emotionally charged dyadic encounter. The intimate relationship is the cornerstone of the family and research shows couple satisfaction weighs heavily upon the health of the next generation.
The proposed presentation describes a model that structures and supports LR dyadic interaction and stability from which UL and LL influences can be revealed and integrated. It identifies optimal patterns that include the essential role of dyadic regression, rarely addressed in the literature, while providing heuristic choices for improved interaction for couples and clinicians.
This presentation also proposes a couples line of development. In the 1960’s, the intimate relationship evolved from a roles-based stage into a relational stage, emphasizing flexibility, equality and partnership. The couples line specifies developmental tasks for each stage and describes cultural messages that impede development. It reveals the nature and effects of a pre/trans fallacy unique to the first stage of an intimate relationship, and how this may result in arrested couple development. It informs the therapists of stage-specific interventions, avoids static assessment skill training, and provides a much needed model to direct future couple growth.
DIRECTIONS: From Rancho Santa Fe Road, turn onto El Camino Del Norte. Go 6⁄10 of a mile, then turn Left onto Val Sereno. When Val Sereno dead ends at Via de Caballo, turn Right. At the dead end cul de sac, turn Right at a large wooden sign with house numbers and follow the narrow extension down the hill. At the bottom of the hill, turn Left. Our half of the townhouse is at the end, 3197, double green doors.
Parking is limited. One car can park in front of our end of the duplex. One car can park to the right of my duplex neighbor. Three cars can park in the guest slots before the townhouse. The rest of you will have to park at the top of the hill before the wooden sign and then walk down the hill. I suggest that you bring a flash light to return up the hill to your car. Sorry for this inconvenience.
If you get lost, call our (Anne and Paul) home phone, http://www.meetup.com/kenwilber-61/events/nrftflytjbpb/chrome-extension:/lifbcibllhkdhoafpjfnlhfpfgnpldfl/call_skype_logo.png858-759-9215 . See you soon.
You can also call Eloy at http://www.meetup.com/kenwilber-61/events/nrftflytjbpb/chrome-extension:/lifbcibllhkdhoafpjfnlhfpfgnpldfl/call_skype_logo.png760 522-4679.